<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>For a second we had everything by Doreamon</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25764289">For a second we had everything</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doreamon/pseuds/Doreamon'>Doreamon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Song of Ice and Fire &amp; Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon - Book, F/M, Happy on Tarth, Love Realisation, Marriage of Convenience, Or do they?, Post - A Storm of Swords, So um mutual pining really, Sorry Not Sorry, Wish Fulfillment, everybody has a happy ending!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:28:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,074</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25764289</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doreamon/pseuds/Doreamon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>The way it makes Brienne feel to be loved by Jaime is something she will never get used to, no matter how long she lives. She is still not sure his love can be meant for her. But he makes it so difficult for her to believe otherwise.</em>
</p><p>Having returned to King’s Landing with Brienne, Jaime argues with his father about his future. But this time, Jaime decides he WILL take a bride. One he chooses himself. Once Jaime and Brienne are married they travel to Tarth to start a new life. So far so happy ending!  But you know what they say about things that seem too good to be true....</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>107</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Jaime x Brienne Fic Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>For a second we had everything</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/mala_ptica/gifts">mala_ptica</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Love is just a summer day<br/>If you hold too tight it starts to fade – let it go then it floats away<br/>In time will you remember me<br/>For a second we had everything</p><p>from “The Years” by The Midnight</p><p>😁 My first JB fic! I will be eternally grateful for your kudos and comments ♥️</p><p>I have another fic in progress, about Brienne's childhood - my first ever writing project. So please<br/><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24288181/chapters/58542565">click here</a> for that!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the tower of the Hand, Jaime waits for his father. </p><p>In his inimitable style Tywin Lannister has commanded his son’s presence – an order rather than an invitation. </p><p>Being summoned always makes Jaime feel ten years old again, knees shaking as he is punished over some misdemeanour at the Rock. </p><p>That same dread tying his stomach in knots. </p><p>Tywin has not told Jaime what he wants him for. Whatever it is cannot be good. Tywin is not the kind of father who wastes words on his children unless they are to be of some value to him; pawns in his power games, not family. </p><p>As he sits in front of his father’s enormous writing desk, imposing even when empty, Jaime turns his hands over in his lap. </p><p>He is still surprised every time he sees the gold below his right sleeve. This replacement hand still new enough to be a novelty. Its delicate fingers curl gently in an imitation of life, like the graceful hand of a statue reaching into the air. The golden hand is beautiful, but it is artifice; it hides the ugly reality of what is underneath. </p><p>The old wooden door creaks and Jaime stands to face it, the action as much a muscle memory as fighting had been before his sword hand was lost. </p><p>Tywin enters the room. He looks Jaime up and down in lieu of a greeting and wastes no time on smalltalk, striding instead around Jaime to seat himself. </p><p>Tywin stares at Jaime like a carnivore looking its prey in the eyes before it goes for the neck. The tension is so thick now the air almost crackles between them. </p><p>“I have just come from the King. He has signed your dismissal from the Kingsguard”.</p><p>Jaime would like to think he has misheard, but he knows his father. His head shakes imperceptibly, unconsciously. </p><p>“I have already told you father. I have no intention of leaving the Kingsguard”.</p><p>“I told <strong>you</strong> Jaime. I expect you to marry and return to Casterly Rock. It is time you take your place as my heir”. </p><p>Jaime shakes his head properly this time. He doesn’t know why they are having this conversation again.</p><p>“We have nothing further to discuss. I will not do it”. Jaime rises from his chair, gripping the left armrest tightly. </p><p>“I will send Tyrion to the wall. Today.” </p><p>“What? Why? You cannot do that” The knotted dread that had lain heavy in Jaime’s stomach is growing bigger now, and twisting like a snake.</p><p>“The King does not need a reason. It is a pity Joffrey and his uncle do not get along better.”</p><p>“No. You are bluffing. Even Joffrey would not do this, not simply at your say so”</p><p>A triumphant smile presses the corners of Tywin’s mouth. He pushes a scroll across the desk, angled for Jaime to read what is written there.</p><p>“He already has”.</p><p><em>No. Tyrion. </em>Jaime slumps back into down his chair, the golden hand thudding uselessly against its wooden frame. He never fails to be surprised by his father’s cruelty. <em>Why, after all these years, am I still surprised? </em></p><p>“You will do as I say if you want to prevent your brother from taking the black. You are the heir to Casterly Rock and I will not put up with any more of your folly. Without your hand you are no longer of use to the King. You will marry, and continue the Lannister line. That is all that matters”.</p><p>Jaime feels a dozen arguments inside his head fighting to be spoken. Well worn arguments about his hand, or his brother, or the Rock. He has tried to fight his father on this half a hundred times, and he is tired. </p><p>Instead Jaime says “who will be my bride?”</p><p>-</p><p>Jaime walks in the direction of the rose garden. He has searched the Red Keep and knows there is a good chance he will find her out here, watching over Sansa as she does most days.</p><p>Jaime stops in his tracks as he rounds a hedge, and suddenly she is there. Brienne. She stands looking on as Sansa walks arm in arm with Margaery Tyrell around the large rose beds, as he knew she would be.</p><p>Her straw coloured hair is made blonder by the sun behind, giving her a halo of light like a painting of the Maiden. </p><p>She is wearing not armour but the simple blue dress he had commissioned for her when they had first returned from the Riverlands. </p><p>She had been reluctant to wear it at first, but it was better than any dress they could have found for her in the Keep. </p><p>It fits her well, and the colour makes her eyes stand out like two vibrant sapphires set into the porcelain of her skin.</p><p>A warm breeze makes its way across the gardens, caressing the flowers with gentle fingers. Jaime shivers.</p><p>“My lady”. Brienne looks up, and the sapphires are trained towards him. </p><p>“Ser Jaime. I trust you are well?” This formality between them always startles him; when they have bared so much of themselves to each other on their journey, body and soul, and yet they must speak to each other as if they are strangers.</p><p>“I…I suppose I am not, my lady. May I speak with you alone?”</p><p>“We are alone Ser Jaime”. </p><p>Jaime sees Sansa and Margaery disappearing out of the rose garden and back towards the Keep. The sun is getting lower, casting long stretched shadows that render their original form unidentifiable.</p><p>Brienne frowns at him, reading his face. “What is the matter?”</p><p><em>Where do I begin?</em> “My father has been playing his games, only this time he has finally won. He has had Joffrey sign a decree that Tyrion must go to the wall”. </p><p>Brienne gasps at this. “No! Why?” </p><p>“For blackmail. I am to leave the Kingsguard and marry, immediately, if I want Tyrion to be safe”.</p><p>Brienne looks into his eyes, her face a picture of concern. “I am sorry Ser Jaime. I know how much you love your brother, and your position in the Kingsguard”.</p><p>“I must protect Tyrion. I have no choice”. Jaime takes a deep breath, nerves suddenly washing over him now that he has reached the point of no return. </p><p><em>Spit it out man. Lion of Lannister indeed.</em>  “Wench, my father has given me a day to find my own bride, or accept one of his choosing.”</p><p>Brienne looks down at their feet. “I see” she says quietly, hands fidgeting in front of her. </p><p>“My lady, I have an idea. Hear me out. I…thought that maybe you would consider…I mean to say, if we married, you would save me from my father’s choice, and we could protect the Starks girls together. Keep our oath. What do you think?”</p><p>Brienne looks utterly stunned. “Is this a joke?” she says, her eyes widening.</p><p>“No wench. I…we are friends are we not? We would be helping each other”. </p><p>-</p><p>Jaime stands at the altar, awaiting his bride. Tyrion stands beside him and looks up at his brother from time to time to offer supportive words or smiles; other members of the extended Lannister clan are seated around the Sept, and Jaime’s eyes search the crowd nervously. </p><p>He feels an overwhelming sense of relief that Cersei is not there; she is still far away at Highgarden, awaiting her own wedding day. But despite this knowledge there was a small part of Jaime that thought she would defy convention and logic and appear anyway. </p><p>Without Cersei Jaime is free to focus on the day ahead.</p><p>Jaime’s father looks back at him from his seat in the Sept with a satisfied expression. <em>Tywin has won this battle. He finally has his wish. </em></p><p>But now Jaime feels something in his stomach that is not dread. It is excitement. It takes root deep within him, threatening to steal his very breath.</p><p>The door at the back of the Sept opens and Brienne enters. Lord Selwyn is unable to attend because the wedding has taken place so soon. So Brienne walks alone. </p><p>Tywin has insisted on a proper bridal gown for appearances sake; Brienne of course would have been more comfortable in almost anything else. His father had wanted Lannister red, as befits a lady of Casterly Rock. But Jaime had other ideas.</p><p>Now seeing Brienne in her gown for the first time almost makes his heart stop.</p><p>The skirt is a billow of golden raw silk, with delicate darts of azure blue. The bodice is simple, a rich gold velvet which wraps closely to Brienne’s muscled frame, tied up the back with blue ribbon. The scooping neckline rises to small capped sleeves which show off Brienne’s strong arms. </p><p>She wears sapphire and gold clasps in her hair, which has been allowed to curl naturally around her face. Her maiden’s cloak is quartered azure and rose, with embroidered suns and moons in gold and silver thread.</p><p>Jaime smiles at his wench as she comes slowly towards him. She looks frightened, yes, but there is also something else in her gaze that he cannot quite identify.</p><p>When she arrives at the front of the Sept, Jaime takes Brienne’s hands into his, one warm and one cold. She does not draw back.</p><p>The Septon begins to speak in a monotone, but Jaime hardly hears him. He is entirely captivated by Brienne’s face and cannot draw his gaze away. </p><p>Freckles are scattered across her skin like she has been blessed by faeries, and a gentle blush is colouring her cheeks. He can see the scar from the bear pit at the base of her neck, hidden beneath the maiden’s cloak that is fixed around her shoulders. The scar that symbolises all that they have been through together, and everything she means to him.</p><p>They stand so close he can see all of the detail in her eyes, and now they will be wed there is little reason to stop himself becoming lost in them. Deep pools of blue surround the centre, but lightened around the edges by flecks of grey and gold. They are so beautiful. He hopes to look upon these eyes every day of his life.</p><p>The Septon arrives at the cloaking part of the ceremony, after what feels to Jaime both like an age and no time at all. </p><p>Jaime removes Brienne’s maiden cloak with trembling fingers, and replaces it with the Lannister cloak Tyrion has been holding. Brienne assists him with one hand, and together they tie the cloak about her shoulders. <em> She is wearing my colours </em> he thinks wondrously.</p><p>Her lips are pink and full, and look like they will be heavenly soft. Jaime reaches in and places a tender kiss to Brienne’s lips, which he hopes conveys more than he is able to say. “With this kiss I pledge my love and take you for my Lady and wife”.</p><p>When he pulls back, Brienne’s eyes search his face curiously, and he feels his breath hitch at the sensation of being laid bare. </p><p>Finding what she seeks, Brienne leans in to kiss him in return. Her white blonde eyelashes flutter closed as their lips meet again.</p><p>“With this kiss I pledge my love and take you for my Lord and husband”. Her voice is soft, but determined. </p><p>“I declare that you are husband and wife in the sight of the Seven. One flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever”.</p><p>-</p><p>Brienne is rocked gently awake by the sway of the ship as it rides the low waves in Breaker’s Bay. Today they will arrive in Tarth.</p><p>Their cabin is small but private, and smells of sleeping bodies. She rises to force open the tiny porthole, and looks back at her sleeping husband as the fresh sea air fills her nostrils.</p><p>Jaime is always so beautiful, but in sleep his face becomes angelic; a small contented smile across his lips and the laughter lines around his eyes relaxed as they rarely are by day. </p><p><em>Jaime my husband. </em> Brienne has to reprocess this idea each time she wakes. The idea seems impossible, but it is real, and something she has wanted for so long, although it took time to admit it to herself.</p><p>Tugging on her breeches in the cramped cabin, she makes too much noise and rouses Jaime. “Going somewhere wench?” he drawls.</p><p>“We will reach Tarth before midday. I want to get up on deck and watch the island as we approach”. Brienne buttons up her shirt as Jaime eyes her greedily.</p><p>“I want to see it too Brienne. My first glimpse of Tarth, I wouldn’t miss it. But do I not qualify for a good morning kiss from Lady Lannister first?”</p><p>Jaime is naked, sat up in bed with the blankets bunched across his lap. His golden skin taut across his stomach muscles. <em>Each day he is more godlike than the one before. </em></p><p>Brienne smiles and rolls her eyes, but she also kneels back down onto the bed so that she can lean over Jaime and place a kiss to the top of his head. </p><p>“Good morning Jaime. Now I am leaving”. Brienne darts away from his grasp, chuckling.</p><p>“Wench!” Jaime calls after her as she exits the cabin door. </p><p>Brienne climbs the stairs from the sleeping quarters to the main deck, squinting her eyes as they adjust to the brighter light outside of the cabin. </p><p>She hears sailors on shift going about their morning duties, and some breaking their fasts over hissing pans of fried bacon and loaves of hard bread in the galley. </p><p>Brienne is drawn to the fore deck so that she can keep her eyes open for the first moment Tarth appears. It has been so many years since she was last within its view, and she doesn’t want to miss the moment the island comes back into her life.</p><p>She leans on the ship’s wooden handrail, making herself comfortable so she can strain her eyes into the distant gloam. </p><p>“You need to eat” says a familiar voice behind her. </p><p>Brienne turns and sees Jaime laden down with food, heels of bread and hot greasy bacon as well as a small pot of honey and a flagon of ale. He carries a rough blanket under one arm.</p><p>“We can’t have you fading away before we even make it to Tarth. What would your father think of me?”</p><p>Jaime comes to stand beside her and passes over the food. “Hold this and I will make us somewhere more comfortable to sit” Jaime unfurls the blanket and spreads it across the deck, creating a little nest for them to sit and observe the view.</p><p>“There, sit down” he says, sinking cross legged onto the blanket and facing out to sea. “We can break our fast and watch for Tarth together”.</p><p>“Jaime, thank you. This is so thoughtful”. Brienne takes a seat next to her husband, grateful for the food and the company. </p><p>They smile at each other as they eat, almost shyly. It’s still like this sometimes, when Brienne cannot believe they are married and Jaime is too full of the warmth of sleep to talk much. </p><p>After the picnic is gone, the pair of them gaze out to sea, stealing glances at each other ever now and then and making each other laugh. The ship is fast and cuts through the close cloud, leaving a trail of mist around them. </p><p>Then finally it happens.</p><p>“There it is Jaime! Tarth!” Brienne’s eyes are alight with emotion. Jaime follows Brienne’s gaze and looks to the horizon expectantly. The definite outline of an island through the low cloud.</p><p>Jaime takes Brienne’s hand in his and they watch as their new home grows gradually larger in the distance. </p><p>As the sun grow stronger and burns off the fog, the colours of woody green forests and crystal blue water become more distinct. In the distance the golden sun illuminates Tarth with a warm glow.</p><p>“It is incredible Brienne”, Jaime whispers, voice thickened by emotion.  “Like I knew it would be. Like you”.</p><p>-</p><p>Brienne walks the cliff path with her father, catching up on all they have missed from each others lives in the many years she has been gone. He is much as she remembers - tall, stern - but aged now in a way that makes him seem less frightening.</p><p>“I am so glad you are home Brienne. All this time I have longed to have you here safe, and the Gods have answered my prayers”. </p><p>“I am sorry father. That I did not come sooner. That I did not write more often.”</p><p>“I understand Brienne. The war has been a difficult time for us all. Survival must come above all else in such times”.</p><p>“And my marriage? I know you will be angry that I wed without your blessing. And Jaime…” </p><p>“Brienne. Much has changed, and that includes the traditions we might once have been tied to. The Gods have brought you back to me. Why would I be angry that you are here, and that you are happy?” </p><p>Brienne stops walking, speechless at her Father’s words. She stares out at the rolling blue. She doesn’t deserve this; to be accepted so easily after all she had put him through. </p><p>“You are happy are you not?” Selwyn asks Brienne.</p><p>“Yes father. I….love Jaime, and he loves me. I know it sounds strange, and I cannot explain it. I know he who he is and what he has done. But he is also not that person. There is more kindness and honour in him than any man I have known.”</p><p>“That is all I need to hear my child. A marriage for love is more than I could have dreamed for you, and everything you deserve.” Selwyn put his hands on Brienne shoulders and looks into her face. “You are here together now and that is all that matters”.  </p><p>Brienne feels the release of so much tension she has been holding in her heart; afraid of her father’s reaction, knowing she is still pushing the boundaries of what she can expect him to accept, as she always has.</p><p>When she and Jaime had found Arya and Sansa, and ensured their return to Winterfell, Brienne had felt that this was more than she could ever hope for. That she could never be happier or prouder than she was in that moment.</p><p>But even the feeling of upholding their vows to Lady Catelyn pales now that she and Jaime are here together, and starting a new life on Tarth, with her father’s blessing.</p><p>“Thank you father” Brienne manages to say in a choked voice, wrapping her arms around him tightly.</p><p>-</p><p>There has been a feast to welcome Brienne home, and introduce Jaime to Tarth. The pair sit on the dais at the head of the Great Hall, as they did at their wedding banquet, reminiscing about that miraculous day as if it had been years ago.</p><p>At the end of the night, retiring to their bedchamber, Jaime holds Brienne’s hand tightly as they stroll through Evenfall’s Great Hall.</p><p>Their presence here is still new enough to elicit glances from those they pass; some are in simply in admiration of his handsome face, some still wanting to get a close look upon the Kingslayer who has come to live along them. </p><p>As they pass a group giggling young women, Jaime pauses. Brienne knows their questioning looks. <em> Why? How? </em> And Brienne feels their judgement like needles in her skin. As it has been her whole life, Brienne’s instinct is to let go of Jaime’s hand, and run from their view so their words cannot reach her.</p><p>Jaime can feel her loosen her grip on his hand, and he seeks to reassure Brienne, looking into her eyes with such softness. He lifts her hand to his lips and presses a warm kiss to her fingers. </p><p>She is his, and he is glad of it. The way it makes Brienne feel to be loved by Jaime is something she will never get used to, no matter how long she lives. She is still not sure his love can be meant for her. But he makes it so difficult for her to believe otherwise. </p><p>Everything Jaime does is filled with intensity, and loving her is no exception. The expression in his emerald eyes whenever he looks at her takes Brienne’s breath away. The passion in the gentlest of his kisses.</p><p>Brienne smiles at her husband. “Come my love” she says softly, pulling him by the hand away from the Hall and the judgement of those who do not know them.</p><p>Whatever else may come, Brienne knows Jaime’s heart is true.</p><p>Here on Tarth they will build their life together – a life far from war and pain. Sharing the joy that will come from making a family, raising their children to fight and laugh, and enjoying the luxury of being at peace.</p><p>---</p><p>Jaime rolls over in the bed, making a noise like a satisfied cat. He reaches his arm towards his wife. “Brienne” he purrs.</p><p>Brienne lies on her back, and wakes to an unfamiliar canopy. She is freezing, and her bones ache. “Jaime” she whispers under her breath.</p><p>A cold feeling creeps over Jaime’s skin. He is alone in his bed in Kings Landing, the Lannister red and gold choking every corner of the room.</p><p>“Morning Ser…My Lady” says a small voice. Heart sinking, Brienne closes her eyes tightly, and then opens them again to see the boy Podrick by the campfire. She sighs. </p><p>-</p><p>It’s not the first time. Since he had slept with his head on the weirwood stump and returned to Harrenhal to rescue her, Jaime has dreamed of Brienne often.</p><p>When he dreams they are married, he wakes cloaked in the warmth of shared love. </p><p>Jaime rubs his face with his left hand, and groans. <em> I can’t keep on doing this. </em> Although come to think of it, it is a lot better than the nightmares of burning flesh. He grimaces to think about them.</p><p>He swings his legs to the floor and finds the chamberpot. Head still fuggy from sleep, Jaime wonders what he will be doing today. Some scheme of Cersei’s, or another showdown with his father.</p><p>For a fraction of a moment Jaime longs for his dream world, where Cersei is too far away to even feature in his life. But then Jaime shakes himself. <em>No, I don’t mean that. </em></p><p>In the dream his father had blackmailed him into marriage and threatened Tyrion – to waking Jaime, it seems neither of those things is beyond the realms of reality. </p><p>In the back of Jaime’s mind there has always been a worry about his father’s unpredictable nature, and a brother’s instinct to protect his younger sibling. No wonder these things permeated his dreams.</p><p>Dressing in his Kingsguard white, Jaime thinks of Brienne. <em>Where is she now? What is she doing? Is she safe? </em></p><p>If he is honest, these thoughts occupy Jaime most days.</p><p>Now, Jaime’s head is filled with the image of Brienne in her wedding gown; Brienne’s deep blue eyes as they hold hands in front of the Septon. </p><p>Jaime shivers. It is an unfamiliar feeling, being loved. When he is back in the real world it seems ever further away from being a reality for him. </p><p>What he thought he had with Cersei was becoming more complicated. He had thought they loved each other, and that was the simplest of facts, strong enough to weather all storms. </p><p>But ever since he had returned without his hand it was like the Wall had suddenly sprung up between them. The way she looked at him was different, and he found himself unable to understand her actions and her moods. </p><p>But what was even stranger to him was that Jaime was undaunted by this change in their relationship. A year ago such a change would have had him tearing at her door to take him in again.</p><p>But now Jaime finds himself thinking of his Brienne dreams at the strangest moments. </p><p>When he is unhappy; when he is angry and frustrated by Cersei or Tywin; when he is bored to tears guarding an undeserving king; Jaime recalls the feeling of loving and being loved and holds on to it as hard as he can.</p><p>Jaime heads out of the door of his quarters, and up the stairs of the White Sword Tower. He will focus on his job as Lord Commander; that will clear his head.</p><p>-</p><p>Brienne rolls away from Pod’s gaze, so he cannot see the blush that is creeping up her neck and onto her face.</p><p>“Morning Podrick” she mumbles. “Thank you for starting the cooking”. </p><p>Standing over a pot by the fire, Pod frowns at this. His new companion is not one for praise. “Of course my Lady”.</p><p><em>Gods I hope I didn’t call Jaime’s name as I slept. </em> It had all felt so real.</p><p>Brienne has dreamed about them being married before. At least this was the pleasant version, where she wakes feeling warm and content from being home on Tarth, where both herself and Jaime have been welcomed and accepted by her father. </p><p>In the past she has dreamt that their marriage in King’s Landing incurs the wrath of Cersei in all her icy cruel beauty. </p><p>Or that they are visited by the ghostly apparition of Catelyn Stark, who will hear no arguments that Jaime has changed to counter her cries of betrayal. </p><p>Brienne rises from her bedroll and dresses quickly in the chilly air. Then she walks briskly to the nearby stream to splash her face with water.</p><p><em>I can’t love Jaime. I can’t. </em> Brienne tells herself this every time, but it doesn’t change anything.</p><p>The icy water slaps her skin awake, and she runs her wet hands through her messy hair to tamp it down a little.</p><p>When she wakes from this dream where Jaime loves her too, and they are safe and happy, Brienne feels like she is walking on air.</p><p>But the dream is such an unreal possibility as to be laughable to Brienne. She always comes down with a hard bump when she lets reality back in. She knows Jaime is in King’s Landing with Cersei, right where he wants to be. </p><p>She also knows how unlikely it is in the real world that her father would accept her choices so readily. It is this fear that always keeps Brienne from writing to her father, desperate as she is to avoid his disapproval even from afar.</p><p>Brienne shakes her head at herself. <em>Foolish girl. Your life is not a dream or a song and it never will be. </em> She heads back to Pod at the camp.</p><p>“Everything alright?” Asks Pod. </p><p>“Yes of course” says Brienne a little too briskly. “Let’s eat quickly and move on as soon as we can”. Brienne sits beside Pod on a fallen log, and he hands her a bowl of hot broth with vegetables. </p><p>“Yes my Lady. Where are we heading today?”</p><p>“We will find the next village and make more enquiries for Sansa. As soon as we have a proper lead our route will be clearer”.</p><p>Brienne gulps down her broth and moves to pack her bedroll away. She has Oathkeeper hidden there in its folds. </p><p>Dazzled by gold glinting in the sunlight, in a moment of madness Brienne unwraps the magnificent sword from its hiding place and straps it to her hip. She is usually afraid to display it in case it is stolen, or someone sees the golden lion on its hilt and mistakes them for enemies. </p><p>But today she will wear the sword Jaime has given her, and think of how it felt to be wrapped in his embrace. </p><p>-</p><p>At the top of the White Sword Tower, Jaime sits at the Lord Commander’s desk and closes his eyes. </p><p>
  <em>Brienne was here, in this room. I gave her armour and a sword to protect Sansa Stark. </em>
</p><p>It seems like a long time ago although it cannot be more than a few sennights. So much had happened in that short time.</p><p>Brienne grips Oathkeeper’s pommel as she rides, feeling the carved lions through her leather gloves. </p><p>
  <em>Jaime gifted me his sword to keep his vows. He has honour. This sword proves it.</em>
</p><p>Jaime recalls the image of Brienne, here in her blue dress. Brienne’s eyes had filled with emotion at his gifts.</p><p>Brienne pictures Jaime’s face as he had told her the name he had chosen for the sword, his eyes meeting hers with such intensity she had had to look away. </p><p>“I will find the girl for her Lady mother’s sake, and for yours” she had said to him.</p><p>The morning Brienne had left King’s Landing, Jaime had gifted her a beautiful horse, and furnished her with coin and the King’s scroll as well her armour and Oathkeeper.</p><p>As Brienne had mounted her horse, Jaime heart had been suddenly gripped by terror. <em>Don’t go. Let me come too. </em> But he had said nothing. What could he have said?</p><p>Brienne had nudged the horse and began to ride slowly away. </p><p>She had looked back at Jaime’s face, taking in as much of his beauty as she could, for what she knew was likely the last time. </p><p>As he had watched her leave, Jaime knew there was nothing he could do. Brienne didn’t need him. If anything he would hinder her search with his Lannister name and blood stained reputation. </p><p>Brienne had turned back to the road with tears in her eyes, realising she would probably never see Jaime again. <em>What has come over me? </em></p><p>
  <em>May the Gods go with you Brienne.</em>
</p><p>The invisible thread that had first joined them together in the Riverlands now stretched long between them, almost tangible in its energy.</p><p>Things had changed in that moment. </p><p>-</p><p>In the White Sword Tower, a thought occurs to Jaime and he jumps to his feet with the power of it. “I love her” he announces to no-one, as if saying aloud it will somehow draw Brienne back to this room like an incantation. </p><p>Brienne closes her eyes as her horse follows Podrick’s through the woods. <em>Gods, watch over Jaime. I beg of you, keep him safe and allow us to meet again. </em></p><p>The thread lengthens and tangles, but never breaks. Soon, they will each make their way to Pennytree.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A mashup of two of my prompts:<br/>1.	oh no, Jaime has to get married for blah blah reason, could Brienne help him out?<br/>2.	Brienne adjusting to life as Lady Lannister and the different reactions of people who reject her and those who accept her</p><p>This is my first ever fic exchange so I hope I’m doing it right and that it meets your expectations!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>